Sanitized for Your Protection

Before anyone gets a huffy attitude about what I am about to write, let me reiterate that I am for the legalization of marriage between same sex couples. There shouldn’t be any law that prohibits two adults from entering into a contract that legally binds them to each other. If my fellow gay and lesbians want the right to participate in this patriarchal, archaic institution, I am in full support. However, I wish these couples would first seriously examine their real purpose for wanting to participate in this ancient rite.

I have been with my partner for twenty-five years and even though same sex marriage is illegal in Texas, I doubt that we would choose to marry even it were legal. I know there are several very good reasons for “legalizing” our relationship but there are several good reasons for not.

I don’t’ believe our union needs society’s sanction or recognition. We have considered ourselves a couple since the first day we agreed to mutually begin sharing our lives together. It makes little difference to us that we have official acknowledgment from the state Texas or the United States government that we have a “bona fide” relationship.

I resent the move to assimilate our lifestyle into the mainstream, in order to obtain legitimacy and respectability from society. To do so accepts the premise that the current state of our relationship is illegitimate or not worthy of respect.

The move to expand marriage also discounts the other options available to both gay and non-gay individuals, many who believe that choosing to lead your life alone without a partner, should also be supported. Mainstream society has a hard time accepting a single heterosexual or homosexual lifestyle. Their real fear is that these individuals may engage in extramarital S-E-X.

I never wanted to be normal or like everyone else. I don’t want our relationship to turn into Ozzy and Harriet. I like my subversive lifestyle. Besides, I want to fight and change the current systems of oppression, not fight to be part of system.

Besides, there are other LGBT efforts that are more politically viable and executable, with plenty of heterosexual allies. Ending employment discrimination is one. Working to prevent teen suicides and school bullying are two other issues that LGBT leaders should actively be involved in.

Instead, I find it ironic that the two institutions LGBT individuals are fighting to get into are two that I would never participate in: marriage and war.